


too little, too late

by WattStalf



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, F/M, comic based, seriously the relationships are nothing like the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6614965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michonne fell in love with Rick, but it took her too long to realize it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	too little, too late

**Author's Note:**

> As the tags suggest, this is comic based. Relationships are hella different from the show, and yeah. Recent events had me thinking about Michonne being in love with Rick in the comics, and how she might feel about that, so this is just some angsty shit about her wanting him but not wanting to try to get in between him and Andrea.  
> Comic Michonne makes me so sad and I just want her and Rick to find happiness. Preferably with Andrea still there, just OT3 it up.

She didn't know when it was that she had fallen in love with Rick. It could have been there all along, but she hesitated to think that because thinking that might downplay what she had had with Ezekiel, or Morgan or Tyreese. And she didn't want to do that, not when they had all meant so much to her, but she couldn't pinpoint exactly when she had fallen for Rick, and it only made sense to say that she had loved him, at least a little bit, all along.

Michonne only wished that she had realized it sooner, but that was the way it went for her. Too little, too late, just like she had been with her daughters, and with Ezekiel. Rick was far beyond her reach, and only now had she realized how she felt about him. Now that he had confessed to her that being with Andrea was the happiest he had been in his life, now that he had a home and family that was completely separate from her. She had been gone for too long, but even before that, she was being shut out, even if he didn't realize he was doing it and she had had too much going on to even notice.

But now it was so clear to her that she loved Rick and that she really stood a chance at being happy if she were with him, and that it had always been Rick. Rick had been there for her for so long, Rick had trusted her and she had trusted him, and now she didn't understand why neither of them had ever noticed the chemistry between them that all seemed so obvious now.

It wasn't just Rick, either. She had been so close to Carl once; he had practically idolized her, and when she found out that he had left home, she was disappointed that she would not get to visit with him while she was there. If there was anyone she could love as her own child, it was Carl, but now he called Andrea his mother.

She remembered a time, after Morgan had died, when she had approached Heath because she was so lonely and she didn't know anyone she could have gone to. (Maybe if she had gone to Rick _then_...) He was with Denise and she knew that, but still she had gone after him, and he had quickly turned her down. That had returned her to reality and she left, guilty because of Denise, but also guilty because she had not even been interested in him.

And she could not even think of Tyreese without feeling guilty, for several reasons, but not least of those was Carol. They had been happy together and she had wedged herself between them, and though Tyreese had chosen her, he would never have had that choice to make had she not given it to him. They had been happy together but Michonne had ruined it, and Carol had not been able to recover.

After doing something like that, she was horribly ashamed that she had tried something like that with Heath and Denise. But now that she had fallen for Rick, now that she knew that she had really loved him all along, she couldn't help but imagine herself pursuing him, of doing the same thing she had done with Tyreese and Heath, of trying to take Rick for herself. He had just told her how happy he was with Andrea, and she did not dislike Andrea at all, but still she secretly wished that Rick, if given the choice, would choose her.

She knew that she could not give him the choice. No matter how it played out, she knew that it would not be a good ending. If Rick did not choose her, she would loose her absolute best friend and one of the only people she was truly close to, and if he did, she would be hurting Andrea and ruining everything that the two of them had built. And no matter what happened, she knew that Carl would never be able to look at her the same way, Carl would never be able to respect her again, and that was almost worse.

Why did she even think the things that she did? She thought she had grown past the manipulative person she had once been. It had been a useful skill to have when she had been a lawyer, when she been ambitious and working tirelessly to advance her career, but those impulses could only cause her trouble now and she hated them. The fact that she could even considering coming between Rick and Andrea, even for a moment, terrified her. Hurting her friends was always the last she wanted, but here she was, imagining the outcomes. It was not becoming any easier to allow herself to be happy when she caught herself thinking such awful things.

But she loved Rick so much that it was very hard not to think about what it would be like to be with him, to win him over against all odds and be the one to wake up with him every morning. She doubted she really could be happy without him, not now that she knew how she felt. It was unlikely she would find anyone else in this world; she had been with very great men and lost them all, but she didn't think she would find another one. Rick was the only one she would really be able to be happy with, so denying herself happiness was becoming more than just a punishment for all of her past transgressions. It was to prevent her from making further mistakes now too. If she would be unhappy without Rick, then so be it.

He was her best friend and she loved him, and he was happy, and that would have to be enough for her. Messing up the life he had built for himself, hurting him or those close to him, was the last thing that she wanted to do, after all.

 


End file.
